new car

i was on my way to see Over the Rhine 's Christmas show on Thursday with some friends from college when my car started to get a little crazy.

to make a long story short, it was a rough night, which ended in a brand newwww carrrr.
i didn't normally feel particularly sentimental about my car. i really liked it, spent a lot of time in it, and was glad to have a vehicle. but it didn't have a name, was often messy, and i just really didn't think i felt that emotional about it.

but when i was cleaning it out before saying goodbye, i realized that i was really attached to that thing.



we've been through a lot together.
i learned to drive in that car.
we took many trips to and from college.
it was the place i first wept after breaking up with my long time boyfriend.
so many road trips, getting lost, laughingggg, heartfelt prayers, rich conversations, and dance parties were had in that car.




here i am with my 2010 honda civic. i love the color. i got another manual car, to bring a little bit of the old along with the new.
it has a lot to live up to, but me and my new car are starting a life together.
here's to all the adventures to come!

it feels like it might be hope

i've been listening to Sara Groves non stop the last few days. she has several new songs that are really beautiful but it might be hope has resonated with me in really powerful ways. she writes about the way sometimes hope sneaks up on you and in the midst of a season of darkness something strikes you and ....

it's been a while since i felt this
but it feels like it might be hope

i feel like hope has hope has turned its face to me in that beautiful, gentle way that makes me stop and say "it feels like it might be hope."

and then tonight loneliness snuck up on me in a similar way. in a way that was a sharp ache in the soul that makes my breath catch in my throat a bit. (does that make sense at all???)

in some ways it was a good reminder. hope and loneliness are not opposites. rather hope says that this lonely ache is not the end of the story. and because of that hope and loneliness can coexist.

good food and good "company"

I have really grown to enjoy cooking, but I hardly ever have the time I need to cook some of my favorites. So tonight I decided to cook a delish meal for myself, Champagne Asparagus Risotto. (I play around a bit, but use this recipe as a base.)

I love cooking Risotto, because it's so slow. it's such a process. and you have to keep a close watch on it so it doesn't stick too much to the pan. it forces me to slow down. to breathe deeply as I wait for the process.

I live alone, so I honestly usually eat in front of my computer or tv, even though I kind of hate that. (I'm realizing lately how much of a walking contradiction I am. I'm pretty sure we all are, so I feel pretty ok about it.)

But tonight I decided to finish the rest of the champagne, light some candles, enjoy my Christmasy table, and sit. really taste the goodness of a well made meal.
I talk a lot about sabbath, and incorporating a bit of the sabbath into every day. Lauren Winner says that on the sabbath time as we know it ceases to exist. sometimes we taste moments of that in the everyday and God shows up in really beautiful ways. tonight was a bit like that.



Over dinner, I read The Nativity, which is to say that I lingered over the incredible images of this children's book. It's the text of the KJV with the most beautiful watercolors depicting the Nativity. Mary is incredibly pregnant, the angel wears combat boots, and I'm reminded of the humanity of the story along with the wonder of it all. And over my slow dinner, sipping champagne, really tasting my food....I found myself weeping a little bit.



I really hate it when people say that "someday" I'll be grateful for the nights I spend alone and wish I could have them again. I hate it for a lot of reasons. but one of them is that I don't want to be grateful someday, I want to be grateful today. So today I was. And that's not always the case. But tonight time was different, and I felt grateful for a moment to linger at the table with some beautiful images of the Christchild and truly experience Emmanuel, God with us.

grateful

well i didn't get to post over thanksgiving.
but i have so much to be grateful for. so i decided to think a little bit about that.

i spent a lot of time with my sisters over the holiday. seriously there is something about sisters, and there is no one else who can make me laugh like those two. it is like a giggle that somehow also comes from deep in my soul. like a belly laugh mixed with a giggle. it's great and healing and beautiful.

my job and students i get to work with. i am having more fun these last few months than i ever dreamed possible in my work. these guys are so much fun, they are really serious about loving Jesus and integrating faith and life, and they want to invite their friends into that too. it's such a joy to be a piece of all of that.

so much to be grateful for. my incredible community. art. music. pumpkin bread.

i'm so looking forward to the possibility of having a roommate soon. but for now i'm appreciating my cozy little apartment. i'm grateful for a place to come home to, that i can have pretty things all around, and the way God continues to provide for me..... I especially love it now that i'm all decorated for Christmas. i'll post some pics of that soon. i seriously love Christmas and decorating makes me so happy.

happy belated thanksgiving!

oops

well i'm new to this whole blogging thing and i guess it takes some time to develop this rhythm?? that's what i'm telling myself.

i've been buzzing about trying to get everything ready for the holidays. picked up a new little craft--crocheting. it's been so delightful and i'm slightly addicted.

i love giving handmade gifts for christmas but am always trying to make sure they don't look like what you gave your mom when you were 6. but here are some of my favs that i've given in the past or would like to give soon!

i love etsy!


Lavender Eye Pillow



pretty photo art



I would love to give (or receive, let's be honest) anything from The White Owl. Seriously beautiful stuff.

A Reminder

Just a pretty little reminder....


be free.


tell me your story..........

some pretty bits of my life that make me feel happy.

Music = love.

Listening to a lot of Ingrid lately.
I think we would be friends. And I love that she and Sara Bareilles keep collaborating.

When I was painting the other night, I listened to these two songs on repeat. One of them is a Christmas song, but I am so excited for Christmas this year I just couldn't help myself.

Soul Stirrings

I recently had the gift of a few moments with friends that reminded me of how much we are created to know and be known by one another.

I was talking with a close friend one night. we were in the middle of nowhere on a crisp fall night. standing outside under a blanket of stars unlike anything i've seen in a long time. we were sharing stories of life, sharing pieces of our heart and soul. and on the surface there was nothing terribly extraordinary about it, but it was a beautiful reminder for me that a piece of what it means to be human is connect with each other in that way.

a few weeks later i was in the living room of a friend listening to him make beautiful music and i started sketching out some paintings. there was something about the way the music was stirring my soul that was related, a bit mysteriously, to the way i felt in my conversation under the stars. once again reminding me of what it is to know and be known.

this weekend i felt the stirring once more as i finally painted what i'd sketched that night. the result is a bit unlike what i usually create, and they aren't super great, but i love them a little bit. i love them because it was one of those times where my thoughts, my experiences, my feelings weren't quite complete until i made them. and there's was a spilling out of myself onto the canvas. and there's a piece of me in them.
and my soul was stirred yet again, because it's times like that in being an artist that i catch a glimpse of what I am to my Creator. He loves me because He made me. I am His image, a spilling out of Himself into me. beautiful.

My Job

I'm a campus minister and I work for an excellent organization, the CCO (Coalition for Christian Outreach). I love my job and the CCO, but the views expressed on this blog are mine alone and do not necessarily reflect the views of the CCO.

To learn more about us, check out www.ccojubilee.org

And I'm blogging.....

Well, here I am starting a blog.
I haven't been journaling as much as I usually do. But I know that it's good for me to get my thoughts out somewhere. Soo here I am.

I'm a follower of Jesus. an artist. a campus minister. friend. sister. dreamer. i love deeply and my heart aches a lot.
this blog will probably be about a little bit of all of those things.

i'm trying to make a happy life with pretty things in a small town. welcome to a glimpse into that little life.